Facts to live by: You can’t survive a loved one’s Alzheimer’s or dementia by yourself
Monica and her father-in-law who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When I wrote a book on coping with the emotional and everyday challenges of Alzheimer’s, dementia and memory loss in 2008, I had no idea how much I’d rely on my own words two years later. In spring 2009, I noticed something peculiar...
Miscommunication propels the evil plot into action
On those days when you don't love yourself, force your eyes open to see the vision and love that others have of you. I'm reminded of that time and again on those days when depression threatens to derail me, when I get so caught up in the misfiring of my brain cells that I can't see the incoming...
Your rat is my mother-in-law
While talking with a coach friend, I shared how I was back to writing more, and feeling alive again as my soul explodes with ink. We discussed the different audiences with whom I engage … caregivers, survivors, healthcare professionals, individuals at every curve on the rollercoaster ride of life,...
All the ways you can connect with a dead ancestor
I often flip through Mom’s small desk calendar, and this week noted one of her annual dates to remember, the passing of her mother in 1944, when Mom was a month shy of her fifth birthday. More than a quarter century ago, I became fascinated, actually obsessed, with this woman who died tragically...
Your final chapter isn’t just about you
Monica speaking at her mother's celebration of life in July 2018. I’m hearing and reading the word “funeral” a little less these days. Is it a shift in society or vocabulary or a way to describe something that sounds so final? “Service” appears frequently as does the phrase, “celebration of life.”...
I’m not rejecting you: this is just how I roll
Everyone should attend a class on real life and engage with a stroke or brain injury survivor. It’s amazing what you can AND should learn about them … AND yourself. I absorb volumes every chance I get. In a text conversation with a stroke survivor, they asked if they had behavioral issues because...
The power of love, touch and tears
The last time my friend and I held hands … Though I had experienced this moment and written about it six years, this message is timeless … I was reminded yesterday of the power of love … I visited a dear friend who is in hospice, who quit eating a few weeks ago. She’s tired and ready to go home …...
The conversations of real life while waiting for the oncologist
Monica and her mom in the fall of 2017. If those walls had ears … oh, the stories they have heard and could tell … I’m going to duct tape their mouth shut! During the 10 months my mom faced lung cancer, I drove her to every appointment with the oncologist and radiologist and three rounds of chemo...
How we labor so ridiculously hard over compromise
Monica in her early newspaper reporting days. We all have our roots and sometimes they are replanted in the most peculiar ways. I grew up in a management family. Dad was in middle management of General Motors, a position that gave us a comfortable, not extravagant, lifestyle. Growing up, I...
Are you drowning in your weakness?
My son and cat finding their corner in the clutter. While scanning old photos, I came across images of the disorganized living room in our old house. I must apologize again to my son for the clutter in which he grew up because of MY shortcomings. My brain couldn’t, still can’t, deal with MY piles...
How one man’s courage gave me a new family
Monica, third from right, with her bonus siblings and mom, Brad, Susan, Diane, Brenda and Curt. How does that famous quote go … “Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.” Yeah, Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City.” And sometimes it’s the...
Campers shower each other with patience and laughter
After a very hot day at Retreat & Refresh Stroke Camp on Saturday, August 6, I was reminded of a camp from July 2017 when the weather was miserable and how this community of stroke survivors and caregivers and volunteers united in the most amazing ways … Here is our story … You can run, but...
About Monica
A former weekly newspaper reporter and editor, Monica Vest Wheeler focuses on coping with and surviving the everyday and emotional challenges of brain-related injuries, illnesses and diseases.
In addition to co-authoring a book on coping with cancer, Monica has written about Alzheimer’s in “Alzheimer’s, Dementia & Memory Loss: Straight Talk for Families & Caregivers,” one of the books in her Help Me Cope & Survive! series. Her latest projects in the series focus on coping with the daily challenges of stroke, brain injuries and brain tumors-brain cancer.
She’s spent thousands of hours working with and interviewing hundreds of patients, survivors, families and caregivers, and healthcare professionals, and interviewed individuals affected by the horrors of the Holocaust and intolerance. She’s given dozens of presentations on ways to cope with the emotions of catastrophic injuries, illnesses and diseases; the Holocaust and tolerance; the need to communicate; ways to express emotions on paper and verbally, how to use family history to better understand oneself and family today; and much more. She’s also interviewed individuals affected by the horrors of the Holocaust and intolerance.
Monica’s warm and engaging style is helping to bridge the silence that is so pervasive for those dealing with disease, loss and crisis.