Caregiver and survivor advocate

Author  |  Photographer  |  Speaker

Brain health champion

Support and discussion group authority

 

Monica doesn’t hesitate to talk about the reality of surviving and caregiving in a world turned upside down by injury, illness and disease … delivered with genuine compassion

Countless hours of interviews and conversations and thousands of photos help her tell stories of real life 

 

"What Caregivers Need"

Request your copy here… it’s free, it’s downloadable… and we’ll send it to you instantly via email.

"Who cares who started the fire! Just PUT IT OUT!!"

7 Hot Tips on Keeping Your Cool as a Caregiver!

Ways Request your copy here… it’s free, it’s downloadable… and we’ll send it to you instantly via email.

A speaker, author, photographer and support and discussion group authority, who admits she should spend more time with butt in chair to write, Monica Vest Wheeler focuses on sharing everything she’s learned by listening, collecting and sharing the emotional and everyday challenges of living with and caregiving for loved ones with injuries, illnesses and diseases … particularly those related to the brain, which are so misunderstood, shunned and stereotyped.
She’s not afraid to talk about them in a world that often looks the other way. She’s become a master in being raw and real … because we need a whole lot of more honesty these days …        and it really heals more than it hurts.   

Monica studied journalism, and after a dozen years working community newspapers, she “burned out” and left her job in 1992. Then she discovered the joy of creating regional history books, producing nearly a dozen in the next 25-plus years.

Her passion also turned to the emotional complexities of catastrophic health issues like cancer, Alzheimer’s, stroke, traumatic brain injury and more. She’s spent thousands of hours working with and interviewing hundreds of patients, survivors, families and caregivers, and healthcare professionals. This takes her on the road thousands of miles every year as she has volunteered for nearly 150 Retreat & Refresh Stroke Camps™ since 2008, and 40 brain injury camps since 2012 from coast to coast.

Monica’s mission is to educate, enlighten, engage and entertain on the topic of caregiving and the human side of brain challenges. Her personal caregiving experiences — for her father-in-law, mother, cousin and aunt — also bring a unique empathy to individuals and audiences. She’s facilitated hundreds of intimate group discussions for Alzheimer’s families and stroke survivors and caregivers to reassure them that while their experiences are unique, they are not alone. She also puts a “face” on brain injuries, illnesses and disease with her photography that shows that there is still life to be lived … and enjoyed.

Home has been Peoria, Illinois, since 1979 when Monica married Roger Wheeler, who remains her chief cheerleader, though he refuses to wave pom poms. They have a son, Gordo, and two rescue cats, Gabriel and Bling, both of whom have special needs and have found a special home.

Think of place, time, surroundings before you say these two words

Dear Roger, I need and want to apologize again for what I said upon my return home on the 22nd day of my camp work Tuesday. When we stood in the office as I returned the van keys and summarized three weeks of camps to two of the staff, and then you jumped in and we...

For us born fixers, it’s heartbreaking when you can’t fix someone you love

Dad and Mom spent countless hours remodeling our house in the late 60's, and fixing little things along the way that needed attention. Mom did a lot of fixing before preparing the house to be sold in 2000 … as it was beginning to require a lot more fixing than she...

Taking responsibility for our excuses with photographic proof

Ever try to explain why you do what you do … something carried over from your childhood … and you wish you had “proof” to illustrate your “excuses”? Aha! I found proof in this 1973 photo! (Only because I save everything!) My husband and I had talked about how certain...

Life is a beach … or so I learned from a dear friend of mine …

A mere 25 years ago … Fumbling my front door key, I heard the telephone ring inside. As I turned the knob, I heard the familiar voice leaving a message. Dropping everything and tripping over everything else, I raced for the phone. I would not let this call go...

The cruelty of Alzheimer’s: “It’s tough not knowing how fast it’s going to go”

A memory from more than a dozen years ago is as vivid as the day it all happened … I discovered that the line of people, bundled against the chill of the February wind, was longer than I expected when I opened the church’s door. But I should have known better as the...

Mothers and daughters: Chapter 1,042,099

two years few yAren’t some of the best finds in life when you’re searching for something else … then you forget the subject of your original hunt? ANYWAY … I discovered this photo of Mom and some high school buds, Kim, Jenny, Susie and Tami. Mom was often just one of...

Even on your lowest day, someone else has a rougher ride in life

Monica and her parents in 1975. A dear friend recently lost her dad, then her mom, within less than three weeks of each other. That’s so heartbreaking … you search for the “right” words to say … and it’s easy to stumble through those thoughts … Since she is much...

Facts to live by: You can’t survive a loved one’s Alzheimer’s or dementia by yourself

Monica and her father-in-law who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. When I wrote a book on coping with the emotional and everyday challenges of Alzheimer’s, dementia and memory loss in 2008, I had no idea how much I’d rely on my own words two years later. In spring 2009,...

Miscommunication propels the evil plot into action

On those days when you don't love yourself, force your eyes open to see the vision and love that others have of you. I'm reminded of that time and again on those days when depression threatens to derail me, when I get so caught up in the misfiring of my brain cells...

Your rat is my mother-in-law

While talking with a coach friend, I shared how I was back to writing more, and feeling alive again as my soul explodes with ink. We discussed the different audiences with whom I engage … caregivers, survivors, healthcare professionals, individuals at every curve on...

All the ways you can connect with a dead ancestor

I often flip through Mom’s small desk calendar, and this week noted one of her annual dates to remember, the passing of her mother in 1944, when Mom was a month shy of her fifth birthday. More than a quarter century ago, I became fascinated, actually obsessed, with...

Your final chapter isn’t just about you

Monica speaking at her mother's celebration of life in July 2018. I’m hearing and reading the word “funeral” a little less these days. Is it a shift in society or vocabulary or a way to describe something that sounds so final? “Service” appears frequently as does the...

Books & Publications

Monica's books and digital publications focus on the core messages of compassion, common sense, and communication.  The mission of these publications is to provide individuals, families, and caregivers with valuable insight and opportunities to reflect, while also providing information and support needed while coping with the everyday challenges and emotions of health-related issues.

Alzheimers, Dementia & Memory Loss (Paperback)

In Alzheimer’s, Dementia and Memory Loss, you’ll learn from other caregivers and family members how to release the frustrations, loneliness and grief of caring for a loved one who seems to be slipping away because of these devastating conditions.

My goal is to comfort you with honest, easy-to-absorb suggestions that help you see that you aren’t alone in your struggles. You’ll find answers on every page. Even more importantly, you’ll find the courage to communicate your needs.

50 Answers to Everyday Caregiver Challenges (Paperback or Digital)

"To see what I see, you’ve got to be where I am.”

While the story of one survivor and/or caregiver can be extraordinarily moving, real life demands that you educate yourself in many classrooms to stretch your imagination and discover new resources and be reminded that you are not alone.

Because every stroke and individual is different, this book provides the perspective of hundreds of survivors and caregivers to bring the diverse realities of stroke into closer focus.

Meet Me in Myrtle (Kindle)

A unique and engaging first-person account of how the paths of two women crossed in coping with the loss of loved ones. Monica writes of how she continued to struggle with grief several years after her mother-in-law's passing, until she connected with a friend's sister, Susie, who was dealing with the recent loss of her boyfriend. Both discover much about life and love as they meet in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, for a weekend to console each other.

This book is an excellent resource for grief support groups. It includes talking points to stimulate conversation about a necessary, yet delicate, subject.

Strike Out Stroke Children's Coloring Book (Paperback, Volume Discounts)

Join Eddie and Ella as they teach youngsters how to recognize and respond to a stroke emergency. Delightfully illustrated, this well-constructed, 8.5x11 inch, 8 page coloring book is a wonderful teaching tool.

Created in conjunction with Strike Out Stroke (www.strikeoutstroke.com) and Retreat & Refresh Stroke Camp (www.strokecamp.org). A portion of proceeds are donated for every coloring book sold.