My husband Roger has been driving me a bit batty for the last year as he seemed to talk non-stop about turning a landmark age … gonna do this, need to do that …
Unfortunately, that birthday had a shitty start because of ME. I didn’t say things the right way. After an emotional breakdown on both our parts, he said, “That’s something your mom would say. You’re channeling your mother! Out out out!” as he waved his hand to chase away that “demon,” when Mom was too hard on him.
We laughed and wiped each other’s tears away and clung to each other tighter. In that moment, I saw the boy pictured with his mom, the two with such a unique bond. It could be because she probably had a miserable 18th birthday waiting for him to be born the next day, her first baby. Yeah, his eyes are closed, but his heart and smile are open as he’s reaching over to wrap his arm around his mama. The bond those two had … priceless … as was the love she gave each of her children.
I remembered, yet had forgotten the location of this photo. Luckily I discovered it as I created a digital collection of the tons of images he had kept in a box. When he worked at the flower shop this past week, I pulled out that collection to sort and scan batches of collections, and this one ended up in the “family misc” folder with so many others he had saved that were in no order. So I scanned ’em as I found ’em.
After surprising him with a zoom call with some family and friends that evening, I told him to check his email. There was the link to all those photos … and he was thrilled to see his model airplanes and fellow flyers of the past, and those moments of his life so far that have meant the most.
Though the day had a tumultuous start because of me, he said it was one of the best birthdays ever because of me. It’s because we both admitted we were human … that we can be funny and fierce … compassionate and clueless at times … warm and worried … full of shit and apologies … honesty and humility …
Filled with love and new eyes to see each other fresh every day … because we’ve changed every moment since we met in August 1974 … the day he went home and told his mom he met the girl he was going to marry. We’ve had to walk that fine line of consistency and change … together.
It’s the only way it works … the way it should … like peanut butter and jelly … pen and paper … heart and soul … Roger and Monica … forever …
Hey, drop me a line at [email protected] or leave a comment below. I’d love to speak to your group, organization or company about working our way through the pain and challenges of everyday life. You want straight talk? You got me!
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