Remembering those wedding vows 42 years ago, I don’t recall the clause about “common sense and clumsiness.” Well, I was a bit nervous that day … thinking but not REALLY knowing what I had committed to …
Relationships are kinda like the Hokey Pokey … you put something in and you pull something out. With my husband Roger the other day, he put his fingers in the wrong place to sharpen a tiny blade and he pulled out two nasty cuts. All the walk-in clinics have closed by this time and I’m trying to make a wise decision. Lots of pressure on me and the wounds as he applied a thick wet cloth to hopefully stop the bleeding.
And that was when we had THE talk. How those blades are cheaper by the hundred and not worth trying to sharpen as he works on his model airplanes in his cozy basement workshop. Now, if it was a big old saw blade, yes, take that to the locally owned hardware store and pay them to bring it back to its almost original dangerous glory.
As the blood flow slowed, we got a closer look at the wounds and didn’t see bones or other icky things sticking out. We agreed to bandage them and visit a mini ER in the morning to make sure he didn’t require stitches. He had to promise to let me know if they fell off during the night because the cats already have enough toys.
Returning to bed, I set my alarm earlier than originally planned to be prepared for the morning trip. I gave myself permission to relax because so far, we had survived another pothole patch in the road of our life. He would order more blades because that was the common sense thing to do. And I’d pick up more bigger gauze pads for special moments like this …
Then I thought of all those times when each of us had lapses in common sense, weren’t paying attention or simply had an accident and had a generous supply of bruises, cuts, boo-boos and more. And how blessed we had been … from the time he could have been killed in a car accident when we were engaged but miraculously survived with only minor cuts and bruises. Or the time our son and I were hit, avoiding serious injury, though I still live with neck issues and require a special pillow to sleep after 30 years.
I reflected on all the couples I’ve met and embraced through the years, those facing devastating challenges like cancer, Alzheimer’s, brain injuries, stroke, brain tumors and so much more. I remembered how so many marriages end in divorce after traumatic events or diagnoses, but somehow these folks had stayed together.
A dear friend shared with me how she watched her parents in the hospital after her mother’s stroke. The husband reassured his wife, “If I was going to leave you, I would have done it a long time ago.”
Life and love are not perfect. Sometimes we make stupid mistakes. Sometimes things happen to us out of our control.
And sometimes we forget just how important we are to those who love us. We wonder what the fuss is all about when something seems minor to us but is major to them. And we get defensive when they implore us to take care of ourselves. Sometimes we need that reminder of just how important we are a lot of someones … not to stroke our ego but to stay alert a little more.
And rejoice in the news that glue will save the day instead of stitches … or worse.
Hey, drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment below. I’d love to speak to your group, organization or company about working our way through the pain and challenges of everyday life. You want straight talk? You got me!