Even on your lowest day, someone else has a rougher ride in life

June 27, 2025•2 min read

Monica and her parents in 1975.

A dear friend recently lost her dad, then her mom, within less than three weeks of each other. That’s so heartbreaking … you search for the “right” words to say … and it’s easy to stumble through those thoughts …

Since she is much younger than me, I am reminded how blessed I was to have Dad until I was 58 and Mom until I was 60. I have a number of friends who lost their parents much earlier in life. Some are “onlys” like me while others have large families. Every family, every relationship is different …

Despite my parents’ divorce when I was 23, I’m reminded how blessed I was to have grown up with both in a stable household. Several friends had difficult childhoods and families in turmoil amid dire financial challenges. Some were mercilessly abused in a multitude of ways …

Searching for one of the few photos of my family of origin, taken when I was in college, I’m so glad I didn’t take sides or initiate the blame game when they decided to divorce. I learned to tune out their complaints about each other, though it wasn’t easy. Roger stepped up when their announcement came the weekend we had gone home to tell them they were going to be grandparents … and he told them to knock off the harsh words about each other because I was still early in the pregnancy and it upset me …

I created a new and better relationship with them separately in the 30-plus years that followed. Each intensified the deeper I immersed myself in emotional topics like cancer, stroke, Alzheimer’s, brain injury, caregiving and so much more … because of the life lessons learned …

The primary one being: even on your lowest day, there’s always someone else who is facing more difficult challenges and pain. We can easily forget that. Many a potential pity party has been scrubbed when I took the time to think of others … and remembered to count my blessings …

Including the friendship of this young woman … and everyone I know and love who is facing significant challenges of any kind …

We’re all in this journey of life together … so much better than being alone …

So, what’s your story? Drop me a line at [email protected] or leave a comment. I’d love to speak to your group, organization or company about working our way through the pain and challenges of everyday life. You want straight talk? You got me!

Monica Vest Wheeler

A former weekly newspaper reporter and editor, Monica Vest Wheeler focuses on coping with and surviving the everyday and emotional challenges of brain-related injuries, illnesses and diseases. In addition to co-authoring a book on coping with cancer, Monica has written about Alzheimer’s in “Alzheimer’s, Dementia & Memory Loss: Straight Talk for Families & Caregivers,” one of the books in her Help Me Cope & Survive! series. Her latest projects in the series focus on coping with the daily challenges of stroke, brain injuries and brain tumors-brain cancer. She’s spent thousands of hours working with and interviewing hundreds of patients, survivors, families and caregivers, and healthcare professionals, and interviewed individuals affected by the horrors of the Holocaust and intolerance. She’s given dozens of presentations on ways to cope with the emotions of catastrophic injuries, illnesses and diseases; the Holocaust and tolerance; the need to communicate; ways to express emotions on paper and verbally, how to use family history to better understand oneself and family today; and much more. She’s also interviewed individuals affected by the horrors of the Holocaust and intolerance. Monica’s warm and engaging style is helping to bridge the silence that is so pervasive for those dealing with disease, loss and crisis.

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