two years few yAren’t some of the best finds in life when you’re searching for something else … then you forget the subject of your original hunt?
ANYWAY … I discovered this photo of Mom and some high school buds, Kim, Jenny, Susie and Tami. Mom was often just one of the girls. I have no idea what we were doing, but this is our garage and the back of Mom’s Chevy Vega wagon … 1974 or 1975 or even 1976.
This find comes at a time when I lose some tears every time I think of Mom. Several friends have lost their moms in the past few years … maybe that’s a trigger … or remembering January 2018 when Mom decided to discontinue treatment for her lung cancer, even though the tumors had shrunk. There were days when I just didn’t understand but had to accept her decision.
We were extremely close … but there were moments when I felt like we didn’t truly understand each other. Yes, mothers and daughters can be that way at times. I’ve been piecing together a deeper look into Mom’s life … and I realize I’ve still been processing the passing of her sister, my aunt, two years ago, after the previous two years of being shut out of my aunt’s life for the stupidest reason … and her apology on the Monday before she passed on Friday. The hurt of not being able to get to know my aunt and Mom better at the same time. Two lost years that I’ll never get back …
But not wallowing in it after a stage of wanting to break things and strangle someone … Hey, we all have those moments …
Yet, with each recent bout of tears about Mom, I learn something new about myself … the similarities and differences between us … our individual strengths and weaknesses … though bonded by blood and love, still two very unique human beings. She always wanted more for me … and in return, I always wanted more for her.
Just as Mom is wiggling her way into a photo opp with the girls, she’s still part of every breath I take … Perhaps I needed to let the tears flow so I could breathe easier to strengthen my own determination to do more with my life … to let my creativity and empathy once again break the dam of indecision and inaction … that can slow us from fulfilling our purpose in life … if we let it …
Someone asked me the other day, “Are you just filling your life or fulfilling it?” I’ll go for fulfilling … as we know I can be full of it at times … Mom! Stop nodding!
So, what’s your story? Drop me a line at monicavestwheeler@gmail.com or leave a comment. I’d love to speak to your group, organization or company about working our way through the pain and challenges of everyday life. You want straight talk? You got me!
Recent Comments